I still remember every moment of that night... I was sitting in my cabin, in the late hours of night, working on my laptop, clearing the past week's toxic mess. Most of the people had moved out, and the others were just about to leave the office. But that night, i thought i would have to spent my whole life there... as the work seemed endless! I paused for a while and leaned on the chair and stretched a bit. My back was killing me. My eyes moved on to a photo frame kept on my desk... “how lovely she looked in that picture " I told myself. My life was a roller coaster, until she came in. She meant a lot to me. Well, not 'a lot', she meant everything to me!
I was lost in those thoughts when my cell screeched out, notifying me about an urgent message, I'd been waiting for that message since the past one week... I shut the laptop, grabbed my car keys n rushed out at once.
I entered the main gate of the hospital. "Oh! I hated that clinical stench!" I told myself... but right now it didn’t matter to me.... I stalked over to the reception n then as advised by some doctor, waited in the lounge. Her face kept flashing before my eyes... "How would she be?" I kept on asking myself... The wait seemed like eternity.
Suddenly, I heard the door knob 'click' open... A nurse rushed out carrying something close to her. The doctor followed out. She smiled and said, “Congratulations, You have a girl. Your wife's alright, but she needs some rest for the time being." I entered the door behind her... I went up to her, held her hand and smiled. Her half smile, across her face ensured me that she was alright. The same nurse entered the room. This time, she took my notice. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time now. A moment when I could hold something and felt that I possessed it, and owned it.
She leaned forward and handed her over to me.
I felt her warmth. She was small, tiny, delicate... she was simply beautiful, wrapped in this soft white linen that seemed to be rough to her. Till now, I used to think she was mine... but now I started feeling just the opposite. I was her's. She was something that was gifted to me. The only gift life had given me. I held her close. Really close. I feared to hurt her. It struck me, at once, a feeling of responsibility. I was responsible for her now. I had to protect her, nurture her, love her; not because of the only reason that she was mine; but because of the reason that I was a slave to her now. I knew that I wouldn’t, even in my dreams, be able to repay her with what she had given me. She gave me all what I needed; happiness, contentment, responsibility, tranquility, courage... and all that i lacked. I felt a huge void in my heart. It seemed as if a fairly large part of my heart was eroded off my body, and now there I was, holding her in my arms. At he same time, that void, seemed to overflow with the joy of not losing myself. I then, realized the motive of my life. My heart now beats within this little being.... I had never held a baby before in my life. I felt awkward. But I thought, has SHE ever been held by anyone in her life?? No. She hasn’t. Then if she's not scared to live her first moment then why should I be scared?! She hadn’t opened her eyes as yet. But she had stopped crying. Maybe because she was in my arms... It occurred to me... will I be able to protect her all along? No one ever knew. The answer was no. She wasn’t going to be with me forever. I was taken aback by the thought. A tiny tear rolled down my cheek. But I held onto her, promising myself that I wouldn’t waste a moment of our time together. I'll teach her everything she would want to know. I'll prepare her to face this world. I'll teach her to fight the evil. I'll be there with her forever. I am a father. I am scared if I’d make a good father or a bad one. But I am sure, that This lil' girl of mine would be something big in life, someone people would look up to. She will live a better life than I did. And when I m gone, she'll live for me.
