Saturday, June 7, 2008


Change is Permanent.
More than anyone else, I’ve been a staunch believer of this statement.

But times come when we feel the desire to question our own beliefs; when we need to rethink that which hasn’t been thought of; when things that make sense cease to hold their meaningfulness.
And then there are times we need to question the presence of the less obvious.

I write this because I just realized that changes might take place Externally, Physically or on a Surface plane. But nothing really changes within. The content within, the Emotions, the Metaphysical existence, the Psyche… They don’t change. Even if they do, we don’t call it change. We call it Evolution.

It hasn’t been long since I’ve come into being.
But it feels as though it has been so long ago since I emerged.
Many, while talking about their life’s journey, structure their statements, saying they have walked a long way. But I don’t feel I’ve moved an inch in mine.
As though I’ve been standing on the shore since ages, motionless; while at the same time, feeling and living the touch of the waves of happiness and sorrow that come to kiss me. And I may have stood there for nights and days, from storms to sunny morrows, witnessing the tides and ebbs, but I dare not change.

Time managed to pull the wool over my eyes.
Nothing has changed; neither the hope in my bosom nor the love in my soul.
I don’t feel any different, apart from the revulsion of being cheated.
It feels like an animated pre structured plot, wherein the victim is placed and is made to feel and Believe that he lives in reality. The only difference in him and me is that I feel the truth.
I commiserate with him for not knowing what life really means.
But at the same moment I feel worse for myself for not being able to feel life.
He is happy living in his fake world presuming, This is Reality.
And I can not afford to be happy, for I know I don’t belong here. Yet somehow, the only way I can bring home some peace is when I tell myself that I am safe here. No matter how absurd it may sound I need to learn how to make excuses, and how to accustom myself in here.

I know not since when. But I have been Existing…
I know not why. But I Stay…
I know not for how long. But I will Remain…