Saturday, July 26, 2008

Secrets unfold...

The Sea is Calm tonight,
the lonesome stars shinning bright.
There lives not a happy soul,
who by the Great one has never been cajoled.
He now sits on the shore,
his Previous thoughts he abhors.
Enlisting his long list of follies,
his Ungrateful guilt, his Homeward calling...
His fatherly greatness smiles upon him,
summoning him nearer ~ He embraces Him.
And then gently the Great one to him unfolds,
the secret of the world that has been untold,
"Truth bedecks not in princely clothes,
neither does it descend from higher slopes."
Destiny was unfolding itself tonight,
he shuddered as he felt the Cosmic Light.
Like a child he listened ~ aghast...
as his Father's knowledge upon him was cast.
"Truth, my child, is the nakedness of a newly born,
it is the jewel that nature adorns.
There is always a beginning to an end;
The Good and The Bad will ultimately Blend..."

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Embittered

Change is Permanent.
More than anyone else, I’ve been a staunch believer of this statement.

But times come when we feel the desire to question our own beliefs; when we need to rethink that which hasn’t been thought of; when things that make sense cease to hold their meaningfulness.
And then there are times we need to question the presence of the less obvious.

I write this because I just realized that changes might take place Externally, Physically or on a Surface plane. But nothing really changes within. The content within, the Emotions, the Metaphysical existence, the Psyche… They don’t change. Even if they do, we don’t call it change. We call it Evolution.

It hasn’t been long since I’ve come into being.
But it feels as though it has been so long ago since I emerged.
Many, while talking about their life’s journey, structure their statements, saying they have walked a long way. But I don’t feel I’ve moved an inch in mine.
As though I’ve been standing on the shore since ages, motionless; while at the same time, feeling and living the touch of the waves of happiness and sorrow that come to kiss me. And I may have stood there for nights and days, from storms to sunny morrows, witnessing the tides and ebbs, but I dare not change.

Time managed to pull the wool over my eyes.
Nothing has changed; neither the hope in my bosom nor the love in my soul.
I don’t feel any different, apart from the revulsion of being cheated.
It feels like an animated pre structured plot, wherein the victim is placed and is made to feel and Believe that he lives in reality. The only difference in him and me is that I feel the truth.
I commiserate with him for not knowing what life really means.
But at the same moment I feel worse for myself for not being able to feel life.
He is happy living in his fake world presuming, This is Reality.
And I can not afford to be happy, for I know I don’t belong here. Yet somehow, the only way I can bring home some peace is when I tell myself that I am safe here. No matter how absurd it may sound I need to learn how to make excuses, and how to accustom myself in here.

I know not since when. But I have been Existing…
I know not why. But I Stay…
I know not for how long. But I will Remain…

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Refocusing our Beliefs

“Once upon a time, people in India, used to go on a pilgrimage to prove their devotion. Today, if you are a devotee, you just call a number and the gods descend on your house on a pilgrimage – for a price of course! If you got no time to go upon a Pilgrimage, its not a problem; Pay Rs 10,000 and the idol of your lord will visit your home for an hour.” This is how an article, ‘Dial a Deity’ read in Saturday’s local newspaper.

It is astonishing while at the same time funny to reassess the extent of human reach. This speaks of how man has evolved in becoming the Father of God, for he has attained a fairly greater amount of power and prestige than God once possessed.

We believe that the generations to come will show a declining interest in their belief for god, but who wouldn’t? Who would believe in pseudo religion? Isn’t it enough that we keep our faiths to ourselves? Is Money so important? Can it buy your Divinity or Sanity? Religion is turning into a Big Hoax, and those who aren’t a part of it are being looked down upon. I don’t blame them, as I too am now, one of them.

I personally would rather be called an atheist than lose the dimension of my beliefs for my Supernatural. I don’t believe in Temples, books or idols… I don’t remember any prayers I learnt as a child… I don’t want to. As I feel disgusted. I feel shallow, for I look at him with ‘their’ eyes. And they look at him not with love, but with craving, craving for more, for betterment of themselves and their lives, craving for more power, money and success… Their hunger is insatiable. And the very fact that I am a part of them, disgusts me.

I can’t meet his eyes. I can’t stand before him. But all I do is still alone in the darkest corner of my room and think about him. I thank him for all that he has done, and apologias to him for all those times, man thinks of conquering him. And while I sit in that dark corner, I find his light burning within me. I do feel his soft touch against my skin. I feel his voiceless words pouring in. I love him, and I’ve never told him. But he knows. And I think he loves me too, despite of my shallowness, despite of the greed of my fellow men, despite of everything evil I’ve done. He loves me.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Dear Love




Dear Love,


How deeper can I drown, in the clouds that rise with the mist, travelling towards the Pearly Gates?

What would you do, when one day all of your senses indulge in the mystic aura of the Omnipresent; with such a level of devotion that the presence seems more alive than reality?

I am so tired... I am so exhausted... trying to keep my eyes closed to your image; trying to ignore the faint whispers of your voice; trying not to show how much I'd love to love you.
I dont wish to run away from you anymore, as the more I try, the more you pull me closer.

Imagine being stranded in the midst of an ocean... It surrounds you as well as your existance. Even if you close your eyes to the reality, you still are stuck in the midst of it... It is at the mercy of the grand ocean that you survive. Or it would have gulped you down long time back.

My affections and feelings so unconditional and pure; Yet you hold my breath when i wish to voice them out. There is no one i wish to speak to about them, but you. Still you look away, acting obfuscate about their chastity.

Thus i stand here today, my pensive mind has come to this conclusion, and i shall take it up as a vow. I shall dig a grave and bury this lunatic in the darkest corner of my soul. And i shall seal it with a Silent Kiss. And on the epitaph, may it be encarved - "Her mortal existance although Obscure; left behind her immortal epic of Devotion, that shall echo in the resonance of his silence."

So wild are the fumes rising from the flames of my Burning Love. And i am so sure, its not just an Emotion. It is the very reason why I smile, why I write or sketch, the reason for why I live.

My Love, your scent, that smells like Hope, surrounds me.
Love, surrounds me; and is extending slowly to embrace all that shall be.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

The Architect of the Cosmos

The day i was born
A tiny pink soul,
He witnessed my squeals;
He witnessed my tears;
And at times witnessed
When i fell to
My soft little paws...

Yet, he did nothing
But was
Waiting and Watching.

I grew into a Child,
Unaware of the World
He heard my tricycles tring-g-ling;
He heard my heart sing;
And at times heard me Sob
When i fell short of
Enough love...

Yet he did nothing
But was
Waiting and Watching.

The child grew into a Rebel,
Grounded by the Evil's air.
He saw me rip away my Innocence;
He saw me as a maniac riding storms;
And at times he saw me
Confused with the insanity
In search of my True Self...

Yet he did nothing
But was
Waiting and Watching.

The rebel turned to a Lover,
Blinded by Untamed Ardor.
He felt my heart flourish with Passion;
He felt my desire to savour Devotion ;
And at times he felt
My helpless efforts
To veil my Affection...

Yet he did nothing
But was
Waiting and Watching.

The Lover is now a Philosopher,
Hidden under the Poetic Disguise.
He stands across, on the other side;
He stands holding the Wand of Light;
And he still stands motionless
When i crawl up to his feet
pleading him to Embrace me...

Yet he does nothing.
But is
Waiting and Watching.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Victim to the Poison

The Paranoia outrages,
The Weakness prolongs,
The Helplessness grows.

I want to put an end to it.
I want to bury myself under the Earth and disappear forever.
I want to suffuse in the thin Air and blow far far away.
I want to inject the darkness into myself and never be visible.
I want to cease to exist.
And wipe away all the footsteps I’ve left behind.

Screams are trapped in my throat.
Tears locked in my eyes.
Scars still smell of my poisoned blood.

His Venom is still within me.
And every passing moment it kills me.

In the corner of the darkness i crouch.

My wet eyes ... shut ...
His voice echoes the vast distances...
He whispers ...
I feel the resonance of his enchanting words...
I feel his breath..
His fingers on the nape of my head..
The familiar touch...
And with every spec of memory,
He gravitates my soul towards him,
As if, it were being sucked out of my body...

And in this push and pull of Mortality
I've lost my senses for the rest of the world.

The Feeling of Love

You Stand Alone, in the humid place. A droplet of sweat runs down your brow... And suddenly the cool breeze runs across the meadow combing through your hair... a Sweet Scent it carries... It smooches your face...You are thankful, you are obliged. Although you don’t remember, when it came and how it died...

But for the breeze, I know, she traveled many miles... just to touch you, to feel you... now she takes along your fragrance, wherever she goes... bubbling with glee and happiness of having met you... She tells every new face she meets, that she touched you... and your scent to her bosom she keeps...

She does know, that she'll soon have to die... but she doesn't regret; for she holds you close, as she loved you the most... And every time she takes a new form, she'll come to meet you, as the wind, the rain or the froth... She'll touch you, love you and will bury herself dead, knowing that her only purpose of life was ... You ...

Friday, January 11, 2008

Immortal Silence

I hear
Voices in my head...

They Mumble something
Something so Inaudible

They say
They are the Children of Silence...

They sing
Their rhythm resonates...

The lyrics though not Comprehensable
The meaning though Obscure

The beats force my heart
To drench in the Enigma of the moment...

This Music of Silence shall forever bestow
In my Mind, Body and Soul...

I shall betray this Immortal Silence
To speak a Word,
A Name,
Only once
And that is when i lay
Next to my Epitaph...

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Gift of Life

I still remember every moment of that night... I was sitting in my cabin, in the late hours of night, working on my laptop, clearing the past week's toxic mess. Most of the people had moved out, and the others were just about to leave the office. But that night, i thought i would have to spent my whole life there... as the work seemed endless! I paused for a while and leaned on the chair and stretched a bit. My back was killing me. My eyes moved on to a photo frame kept on my desk... “how lovely she looked in that picture " I told myself. My life was a roller coaster, until she came in. She meant a lot to me. Well, not 'a lot', she meant everything to me!

I was lost in those thoughts when my cell screeched out, notifying me about an urgent message, I'd been waiting for that message since the past one week... I shut the laptop, grabbed my car keys n rushed out at once.

I entered the main gate of the hospital. "Oh! I hated that clinical stench!" I told myself... but right now it didn’t matter to me.... I stalked over to the reception n then as advised by some doctor, waited in the lounge. Her face kept flashing before my eyes... "How would she be?" I kept on asking myself... The wait seemed like eternity.

Suddenly, I heard the door knob 'click' open... A nurse rushed out carrying something close to her. The doctor followed out. She smiled and said, “Congratulations, You have a girl. Your wife's alright, but she needs some rest for the time being." I entered the door behind her... I went up to her, held her hand and smiled. Her half smile, across her face ensured me that she was alright. The same nurse entered the room. This time, she took my notice. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time now. A moment when I could hold something and felt that I possessed it, and owned it.

She leaned forward and handed her over to me.

I felt her warmth. She was small, tiny, delicate... she was simply beautiful, wrapped in this soft white linen that seemed to be rough to her. Till now, I used to think she was mine... but now I started feeling just the opposite. I was her's. She was something that was gifted to me. The only gift life had given me. I held her close. Really close. I feared to hurt her. It struck me, at once, a feeling of responsibility. I was responsible for her now. I had to protect her, nurture her, love her; not because of the only reason that she was mine; but because of the reason that I was a slave to her now. I knew that I wouldn’t, even in my dreams, be able to repay her with what she had given me. She gave me all what I needed; happiness, contentment, responsibility, tranquility, courage... and all that i lacked. I felt a huge void in my heart. It seemed as if a fairly large part of my heart was eroded off my body, and now there I was, holding her in my arms. At he same time, that void, seemed to overflow with the joy of not losing myself. I then, realized the motive of my life. My heart now beats within this little being.... I had never held a baby before in my life. I felt awkward. But I thought, has SHE ever been held by anyone in her life?? No. She hasn’t. Then if she's not scared to live her first moment then why should I be scared?! She hadn’t opened her eyes as yet. But she had stopped crying. Maybe because she was in my arms... It occurred to me... will I be able to protect her all along? No one ever knew. The answer was no. She wasn’t going to be with me forever. I was taken aback by the thought. A tiny tear rolled down my cheek. But I held onto her, promising myself that I wouldn’t waste a moment of our time together. I'll teach her everything she would want to know. I'll prepare her to face this world. I'll teach her to fight the evil. I'll be there with her forever. I am a father. I am scared if I’d make a good father or a bad one. But I am sure, that This lil' girl of mine would be something big in life, someone people would look up to. She will live a better life than I did. And when I m gone, she'll live for me.

The After effects of the Poison

There were many a men who consumed it.
There were even more who were consumed by it.

Love, although just a human emotion, has the ability to take you upon the cloud number 9, yet at the same time it also holds the power to smother you six feet under, into a world of the dead.

The sweetness of the Poison of Love imbibes into the core of your soul and never ever again let's you be who you were.

It paralyses you, your vision, your thoughts and your perception to life.
It leaves you in Spasmodic Paranoia, swinging between the deepening love for your beloved and the darkening hatred for yourself.


It is the most beautiful phenomenon that can touch you.
It can be the deadliest deluge that can shatter your soul and leave your body in a delirium.

It is you who should decide,
How far can you afford to let it effect you.

There are fools who don't know when they start loving someone as dearly as themselves.
There are fools who are willing to give up any amount of Mortality to see their loved ones Happy.
There are fools who will never admit that they are now bound by the will of Love.


Because these fools are the only ones who could love with their true heart.

They maybe unaware of what they felt, but they did feel it.
They maybe illiterate to express it in words, but they tried expressing it.
They maybe incapable to confess it, but they never felt the need.

Love, like the silent poison drips with every drop of blood.

Its a Hallucination, an intoxication something beyond the fool's understanding.
He might be scared to get himself cured.
Thus he finds a new way of subtly living his life enjoying the Hallucinations of His Love.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Love - An Ennoblent Force


The Oxford defines 'Love' as - 'a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person; an intense desire and attraction.' But is this what is love all about? Love can be defined by those who have never known how to love. As for those who have tasted its bitter - sweetness and hard - tenderness, cant think of doing so.

Love is safer in the literary books than it is on open streets. Many a people have been betrayed in the name of love, that has lost its meaning in this dreadful world of folly and miseries. As Shelley quoted, long back, for Love -

"One word is too often profaned
for me to profane it.
One feeling is too falsely disdained
for thee to disdain it.
One word is too like despair
for prudence to smother.
And pity for thee more dear;
than that for another."

Love is now a mere word, which is being used irreverently, is mocked at, and is suppressed by discretion. The word - 'Love', can surely be found on every tongue; but not a spec of this pure feeling will echo amongst the walls of our conventional mind-sets. Today, 'Love' is just a claim, a commitment, that no longer comes from the heart.
Nothing called 'True Love' exists in this world. If it does, then what would be False Love? Love is Love. If it ain’t true, it ain’t love.

Love is what our origin is and it is what will fall in the path ahead. It is through the eyes of love that one can see, how tenderly a mother holds her 3 months old dream, wrapped in the softest of linens that she could fine, so that he might not get bruised. She can sit and stare at him for hours together, with tears of joy welding in her eyes, looking at him and wondering - How beautiful is her own creation! She protected him within herself and now that he has entered the arena of this world, she has to be ever more protective and ever vigilant for her new being. She can sacrifice her own breaths for him, as she knows, that even if she wouldn't live, he'd be alive to make her immortal. This is Love.

When a man driven by his materialistic goals, retrieves home, tired and exhausted, only to find his little angel at the door step, eagerly waiting for a drive, he wouldn't mind carrying her in his weary arms and fulfilling her childish desire. Her glittering eyes, her melodious squeals and the tiny garland of her tender arms around his neck, he knows, this is what he lives for. This is Love.

In the gloomiest of nights or the brightest of delights, one cannot, within himself contain, the way he feels. We all need someone, who'll be present at any point of time... who'll call up, before you think of doing the same, and will say - "Did you want to talk?" Someone without whose support, you may not be able to stand upright in the toughest of times and you may not even survive without sharing a stupid joke! This is what is friendship all about. This is Love.

When you find your mate and you dare to be yourself with him. You share with him the deepest and the darkest of your emotions, philosophies and incidents. You admire the beauty of his inner soul and outward the appearance doesn't matter. You know him in and out - his goodness as well as his darker side, yet you still admire and respect him for who he is. Once you blend with his inner being, you attain the purity of being intimate with him, and express your deepest feelings. Love being an ongoing renewal of companionship, is a thing of beauty. While relationships are ugly. Love ain’t a relationship. It only relates.

If ever you come across someone who has been through bad times in life, and he tells you, "I wont/ cant love again..."; you must know, that he hasn't ever been in love. If a person truly loves, he loves for a lifetime. Once loved, always loves. The purest form of love can't be determined as love in its different forms is incomparable. But the form of love, that is of the highest degree and that wins a lifetime, is Divine Love. When you love someone with such great devotion and intense affection, expectation nothing in return, without laying any conditions and sacrificing all you have, you attain a state of its Divinity. The person needn't be perfect, but your love for him must be perfectly pure. Remember, Soul mates aren't perfect. But they are perfect for each other. He needn't be your life partner; he can be a friend, a guardian, a co-worker or even a stranger. Love has to be expressed. But Divine Love doesn't. It reflects in your eyes, in your smile, in your voice and in your soul.

"The desire of the moth for the star
of the night for the morrow.
The devotion to something afar
from the sphere of our sorrow."

The Divinity of this love comes in when you know that the person is unattainable, yet you love him as much as you do love yourself, knowing that he is a part of you. It is a worship that when offered with the purest of intensions and utter devotion, it is bound to break even god's denial. It is a devotion to something unachievable, something so far that the distance losses itself in empty spaces. Love is beyond words. Love is beyond all levels of devotion and spiritualism.

In Divine Love, you love that some one so intensely, that you enter such a state, where in you not only love him, but everyone and everything around you, even yourself. You start liking things you never did earlier. The smallest of incidents bring immense happiness to you, and you don’t miss any opportunity to make someone happy. You stop, and smell a blooming flower, you savor every rain drop, you cherish the wood pecker's serenade, you even cry when your happiness outbursts. People find you radiating with joy and happiness, brimming with love. You find him present amongst no one and yet amongst everyone. His voice, his face, his smile, his touch will always be felt at any point of time. In every face, you will find his glimpse. You expect nothing. You desire nothing. Not even him, who you love. You set him free and watch him soar above. You attain a level of self-contentment and you need nothing more in life. You are so thankful to your lord, to have given you this exquisite life to live, to have been granted a chance to spread happiness, and to have come across the person, you love. You evolve for good and become a better person each day. Each day, you win a smile and you make it a point to do it everyday. People start seeking you for you become an instigator of security, companionship, protection and support. You not only brighten your own life, but your liveliness enlightens the moments you spend with the others. Your reservoirs of love, multiply with every new soul that you come across and you engulf each heart with your love.

The power of love can heal one and all. Even a person in immense pain needs nothing but loves tender touch. If it hurts to look at him in pain, love till it hurts no more. You aren't doing this to make the world a better place. The world is a huge place for a singleton like you. But by spreading love, induces within us a sufficing relief, while at the same time a never quenching thirst to love yet more. A Paranoia to spread love towards all horizons imbibes within you.

So come, Indulge yourself into the wilderness of this insatiable all consuming fire of Love.